Lies, lies and lies.

My diploma arrived in the mail today! YAY! I actually graduated!! Hahaha. I checked my grades a week after the last day of class and found that I got a B or a C for that final class but for some reason I couldnt really explain, that grade did not seem legit to me. But I was too scared to check again and all this time since the ceremony, I have been in apprehension as to whether or not I actually did pass that class. And the diploma never came and that made me even more anxious! Of course if I hadnt pass it, I would have been fucked. Big time. But I figured I could fix that. Somehow. LOL. But hey, I  passed and thus I am officially a Bachelors of Arts degree holder. Not that it means anything to me. But hey, it means something to my parents and other people in my family and well, employers….so yeah….whatever. I GRADUATED! FOR REAL!!!  Waahahahaha!!!

As time goes by, and people come and go in and out of your life, you learn just who your true loves are. The ones that matter. The ones who stuck around; who still do til this very moment.

After more than 15 years, and looking back at everything we’ve been through, I can say with utmost certainty that YOU are one of my true loves. In fact, you are on top of that VERY short list. Hell, I think you are the only one on that list. hahaha.

Thanks man. Time and time again, you have proven to be the one true friend I can always go home to. Despite everything I had put you through and despite everything youre going through yourself, you always make time and you always make me feel better. Always. NO MATTER WHAT. Even when you’re pissed drunk. ;P

You may not always say the right words but you always have the right attitude. And I still remember all your off-hand remarks  that took me by surprise and touched my heart. Cool and aloof on the outside, warm and affectionate on the inside. That’s you. And I love you.

So here I am, questioning my decision, reconsidering my options. Because you matter alot. And you’re the person I want to see most at the moment. You asked me if i was not scared about moving to a whole new country and the answer was no, because you will be there. I have no qualms about starting over in a whole new continent where you are because I know you’re all the support system i need. With you there, I know I can start anew. You know who I was before I became the emotional wreck I am right now. You will help me recuperate and regroup.

But now that I am not going there. Starting over in a new place all on my own daunts me. I get scared. I think I need to make Sydney work. Somehow. Someway.

Because when it comes to things that matter most in my life, you are definitely, by far, one of them. And I  miss you.

4 more minutes and then i can cry. just not today. if there is anything that this year wont be….it will be that it wont be a year of tears. so please. if i can just make it through today without actually shedding any tear.

Seriously. Why do we want to know who has looked at out profile? And why do we always view their profile right back? I chose to view profile anonymously before because I didnt want to appear like I have no life and just browse friendster all day, looking at other people’s profile randomly. But I have no life indeed and have since come to terms and accept it . In fact, I’m actually quite pleased with having no life and feeling a bit smug as I can do whatever I want whenever I please. Something not many of you can claim to be able to do. Thus, I chose to let people know Ive been viewing their profile, which in due process, allowed me to know who’s been viewing me. And I thought I wont be affected and I wont care who viewed me. And I most certainly will NOT view them back. Boy, was I delusional. Me, the insecure, superficial bitch not caring who is looking at my profile? Yeah. Never gonna happen.So I viewed them back. Until I realized that my profile is locked and unless you’re on my friends list, you cant see my profile. So what do I care? I started viewing profiles left and right, all over the place. And people whose profile I viewed, viewed mine right back. Even those who locked their profile like me. Seriously. Will this profile viewing cycle ever end?  SERIOUSLY.

One great love has finally departed from my life. Here’s to the arrival of another one, hopefully waiting just around the corner.

Okay. This is suck suck suckity suck suck.!!!!!!!!! Friendster is pissing me off!! I am so sad coz my favorite testi of all time is gone. Not all gone but it is now incomplete. I dont know what happened but there are just missing words and sentences from that testi. Man. It all started few months ago…maybe more than 6 months…..all my testi disappeared but I wasnt too worried coz it happened to alot of people and they all got them back. Sure enough, mine reappeared and all seem fine and dandy. But after closer inspection, there is one that is not fine. And what are the odds that out of 30 some testis, MY FAVORITE had to be the one that got screwed. WHY? I kept waiting that it would be fixed and it would be complete again, but no. It is now a defected testi. AND IT WAS MY FAVORITE TOO!!! and the missing part is my fave parts too!! Bloody muffin hell!!!!!!!!

Oh and my testi on my best friends testi disappeared too!! And I was the first one to give testi to him. And now not anymore. WTH?

Yes, I know Im random. But I am soooo bugging.