Lies, lies and lies.

- lappie is infected with some sort of spyware. AGAIN. *sigh* I dont know why this keep happening. I no longer download songs nor movies…..ugh. whatever. at least it still works and i still have super fast broadband connection.

-although, might not be long before lappie explodes. it’s been making weird sounds. a laptop is not supposed to be as loud as a pc processor is it? i think i might have left it on 24/7 for way too long. the fan is about to give way, it seems. i hope im wrong though =(

- yes. back up and then reformat. will do it soon.

-moody boy said time to get a new laptop. something i love. wth. i LOVE this laptop. and yeah, i have been saying how i want a new one but i was gonna get it as late/ as close to my departing this country as possible. NOT NOW.

-for some reason, moody boy’s aforementioned comment ticked me and made me think that he was eluding to himself. like, in a way he knows im still not completely moved on and that i should already lah. i should find myself another guy. a guy i love. wei, dont you think i want that too? dont you think i want to find someone else? the difference is, i want to find someone who LOVES me. THAT WAY. i DID find someone i love. him. but he doesnt love me that way. in any case, he should get over himself and stop thinking that im still pining for him. or is it me who needs to get over myself and stop reading too much? ah whatever. MY interpretation. nobody has to agree.

-while we’re on the subject of moody boy, we finally webcam-ed a couple nights ago and he said that he needed me there. in my head i went, "oh no. here we go again." (yeah, maybe I AM the one who needs to get over myself! hahah) but before i could say anything, i discovered that he needed me there only to be his personal shopper! LOL. yeah, he needs more work/ dress shirts and has no capacity to buy for himself. i instinctively inquired why Ms.GF IN DENIAL couldnt go buy for him leh. apparently no good time to go shopping together; nighttime on weekdays are too late and weekends are damn crowded. dumbass didnt even think of just giving his measurements to her and ask her to go buy for him. sheesh.even after i suggested that to him, his reponse was only a pathetic,’ erm..i’ll try." wtf. made me feel flattered abit though. as if my sense of style is so superior ah, only can trust me to buy shirts for him. no truth to that self delusion of course coz GF in denial has way more superior fashion sense. she always look so put together and gorgeous on her photos. the shirt i buy him are on sale ones. so dont really have to choose, just pick up whats cheap. teehee.

-there are no express brand in KL? wth. for real? how about in sg or china or other parts of asia? no wonder he’s having a hard time finding shirts. express shirts are the best for asian guys. more fitted, perfect for asian guys who are genetically predisposed to being lankier . and the pattern and fabric are pretty nice too. the only downside  is they being very ubiquitous and you run the chance of bumping into a "twin" sooner or later.

- im taking up reading again. LOL. any recommendations? been out of the literary loop for SO long!! (not that i was ever IN that loop. @__@) currently reading the time traveller’s wife and so far loving it. will post an entry of what i think about it in the near future.

- book/author lists:
murakami, jodi piccoult, catchers in the rye, john updike, wild sheep chase, … and well, give me more to list here!!

-dad keeps calling EVERYDAY to check if im doing alright. and i keep saying that i am. to which he pressed, "are you REALLY doing okay?"  WTF.

-might be homeless in a month’s time. okay, too dramatically put. factually, lease ends in a month and i have yet to decide what to about it. it basically boils down to finance and privacy/freedom. oh and broadband internet is somewhere in the equation too. oh well.

-I LIKE YOU!!! and it’s freaking annoying the living hell out of me that we dont really connect! wtf. the chemistry is sort of there. how come we dont connect!?!??! shite. you suck.

- been thinking of going on diet coke, coffee,tea and other caffeinated drinks and brownie, cake and ice cream diet. but ice cream makes me throw up.

-which brings me to this. the puking fit is happening again. blah. stupid gastric and its gas  and acid issues.

- Melissa R should have sooo been the next PCD. i was rooting for her. so pretty.

-all new grey’s anatomy tonight. and i have to work. boohoo. but the show is gradually sucking anyways.

-must watch "THE NAMESAKE" tomorrow. it stars Kal Penn, that dude from Harold and Kumar. google it yourself coz i dont have time to elaborate on this movie. i really2 hope i have time to watch it tomorrow.

- check this trailer out. im buzzing over the soundtracks! i worship the ground the Beatles walked on. Big Brother got it right when he made them his musical gods.
<embed width="448" height="365" src="http://www.ifilm.com/efp" quality="high" bgcolor="000000" name="efp" align="middle" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" flashvars="flvbaseclip=2820163&"> </embed>

-okay so it’s not twenty million. but its only coz i cant really put them into words. and besides, imagine the typing required. it IS twenty million. take my word for it. and now i have to put the lappie to sleep again for its pour soul is being dragged down by spyware and i feel like im on dial up! (OMG, the horror i will encounter when i am in asia!) . till then.

I wont tell you what movies they are tho. see if they make you wanna go see them too! ;P

First movie:
"i wish there was a cook book for life"
"come on. you know the best recipes are the ones you create yourself"

Second movie:
"is it good to be like everyone else?"
"that’s a very good question."

Third movie:
"you play cards the way you should live your life. and you live your life the way you should play cards "

"you know what i think? i think everyone is just trying not to be lonely"

that last one resonates very strongly to/with (what’s the right preposition eh?) me and my feelings/thoughts as of late.

if quotes arent your thing, then let me reveal the casts:

First movie stars Zeta-Jones, Aaron Eckhart and i believe that absolutely adorable girl from LIL MISS SUNSHINE, Abigail something.

Second one stars John and Joan Cusack (this alone is enough reason for me to go see this movie. i LOVE both of them and i dont think these siblings were ever in the same  movie together!) and Amanda Peet.

Third one, Eric Bana and Barrymore.

*disclaimer, quotes aren’t precisely word per word. so dont come back if you cant find them on google or if you did find the correct ones and decide to point out errors. i know they are somewhat erroneous already lah*

wah. just typed a long ass "review" on IN THE LAND OF WOMEN and i stupidly opened another page on the tab which the blogging page was on and voila, when i press the back tab, only my title was left. i normally get really upset and would simply dismiss posting an entry altogether but im not that impatient and irritable of a person anymore so here i am still typing so you’ll have a new entry to read when you stop by my blog.(arent you glad i’m a changed girl? haha. just kidding. i’m the one who’s glad you guys are still stopping by.thanks for reading y’all! )

So. IN THE LAND OF WOMEN. in short, LOVE it! (hey, i might not be all that pissy but im still THAT lazy so no way in hell i’m re-typing what i had previously typed, yo!). totally biased coz i adore adore adore! ADAM BRODY. and the new girl, KRISTEN STEWART intrigued me. she has that look that say we’ll see more of her in the future. i liked her the moment i saw her in the trailer. thought she is pretty, reminiscent of ali larter. and ive always liked ali larter. a younger, skinnier and angstier version of ali, of course. her appeal is hard to put into words (well, it’s hard for ME. i cant think of vocabs to describe her. i’m bad with vocab which is the VERY reason i can never be a writer. and to think i was a language major….Lord.) but i was drawn into her. i like how she can have this intense, im-gonna-slit-my-wrist-anytime expressions yet when she smiles her whole face lights up and she appears so sweet. twas good to see meg ryan again too even tho she looked like she had cosmetic work done especially to her lips. they were so thick and plump and her nose look like it was bloated. wait, bloated is wrong word. swollen. that’s it, her nose look swollen. (see, im bad with vocab!). but her performance here seems to be one of her best as far as i can remember.

plotwise, this is where it gets tricky. upon closer inspection, i cant discern what was the point of the whole movie. yes, of course i know it was there, but it seemed so…….pointless: "guy gets dumped, guy leaves to mend his broken heart and get new perspective, guy meets new people, new people have problems, guy helps new people and vice versa, guy goes back to his old life." . yeah, it’s the journey and not the destination, i know. but still, it’s such a cliche. but i like cliche so what, right. im just telling you all this so you guys wont go see it and come back to me and demand your money back on the basis of," what great movie? pointless cliche is more like it!"  so im telling it like it is. i like the movie because im a sucker for dramedy and i LOVE adam brody’s likable geekiness.   he’s geeky and cool at the same time. and hilarious. man, it is so true that at the end of the day you  just want to be with someone who makes you laugh. (yes i know that last one is totally off topic. my blog wat.)

lastly,i’ll leave you with a quote coz you always gotta have quotes, right. i walk away with at least one quote from almost all movies i watch and this one’s is: (not word per word cause i cant remember the whole thing, but close enough la.)
"i’m waking you up! there’s a big world out there and it’s messy. it’s….chaotic. and it’s never…never.ever. the thing you’d expect. it’s okay to be afraid. but you cant let fear turn you into an asshole. not to the people you love. the people who need you."

I clicked on the compose message option and started typing on the blank page. I then stared at the finished message and contemplated, to send or not to send. I couldn’t. I shouldn’t. And so I didn’t.

It wasnt just once or twice. I do this multiple times a day. I still think of you when I encounter problems, when things get overwhelming, when my brain just refuse to listen to me, when something funny happens, when depression threatens to take over, when it’s a cloudy day or sunny or rainy…especially rainy…, when i see, hear, eat something;  when life is simply unfolding….. I think of you. And I want to talk to you.

But I couldn’t. And I shouldn’t. And so I didn’t. 

"trance? let me get this straight, you want to play trance on our wedding?"

"besides,
i dont really care about the details. i only care that after that day,
i am officially and legally yours. i get to be mrs. you. and spend the
rest of my live with you.cuddling with you every night and waking up
every morning next to you. it’s not about the wedding. it’s about
marrying you. i dont even want a party. as long as i’m marrying you, i
dont care where or how we do it. as long as we, you and me, get to
start becoming a family. as long as i get to have your babies. as long
as…."

you see, unlike popular conceptions of girls/women,
i DONT dream about my wedding day. i dont fantasize about the romantic
beachfront wedding or serene garden ceremony or luxurious hotel
reception. I dont doodle wedding gowns designs or make clippings of
pictures of gorgeous gowns i like, for myself and my bridesmaids. i
dont imagine how romantic my first dance would be with the perfect song
playing as the sun begins to set or whatever. i dont compose in my head
a romantic vow so moving my guests will go "awwww" when i read it at
the altar. And so on, whatever crap girls dream, imagine and fantasize
about when it comes to their wedding day.

no. i DONT dream about all that. i dont care about all that. i dont even think about what my wedding day would be like.

what
i dream about is the day after the wedding. the day i get to wake up
next to the person i love most in this world, knowing that we are
officially spending the rest of our lives together. today. and the day
after that. and the day after that. and the day after that. ad
infinitum.

where, when, how i get married, how many people
were there, what food was served (except maybe what kind of cake my
wedding cake is…. ;9  ), what i was wearing, what gifts i
get……all those are not important. to me, the only important thing
is, who i am marrying.

you see, i dont dream about my wedding day. i dream about the person i am marrying…..

"for a soul mate to live with forever; knowing you won’t be alone anymore. how could anybody not believe in that?…"

"i find fights can be a little deceptive too. take all the screaming
and anger; beneath all the hostility, more times than not, you
find……….love. you ever find that?"

not even a month. well, slightly over a month, but since february only has 28 days, so it’s not really fair. let’s just count it as one month. 30 days. not even. wow. i dont know what to say. i want to say i’m disappointed and sad that apparently what we had was so insubstantial that it couldnt even last a month. but then again, i couldnt really say i hadnt seen it coming. maybe it’s just self-fulfilling prophecy. or maybe, i am simply always right.

and you know what? being always right sucks.