Lies, lies and lies.

i finished it. in less than 3 hours. can you believe it? of course you cant. and for good reasons too. because it aint true!! hahaha

but i do know who dies and who survives and who marries who because i cheated and skimmed the book and read all the parts that tied all the loose ends. oh shut it. i like knowing the ending of a movie/book/story before i read it. i dont care and it doesnt take away the experience of reading/watching them. besides i’m OCD like that. i fidget and twitch and get really restless and ADD and keep turning pages to random sections of the book. and ended up not being able to read the book. but i digress.

SPOILERS ahead so beware and stop reading now if youre one of those people who go absolutely balistic if someone lets slip or tells you on purpose the ending of a story.

here goes.

i absolutely do  not understand why rowling kills all my favorite characters. sirius, dumbledore and now snape. oh and lupin too. well, okay. snape is not my favorite character in the book but alan rickman is superb in the movies. he made snape one my favorite characters. and rickman is also the reason why i dont believe snape is bad. his snape is not nice, but you can tell that he’s not evil. and thus, imagine my glee when i discovered that i WAS right all along. snape IS good. and dumbledore’s death was planned. i wouldve liked it better if dumbledore isnt really dead but im not the one writing the book. so whatever.

anyways, i thought the book has too many intricacies, like this soul in this wand and has this effect and the blood from this person caused that person to be that. whatever. i know, some would say its cause i havent read the whole thing but really, it’s just too…..gosh i cant even think of the word. i like harry potter and forever will be a fan but im not too crazy about this book. i might sing a different tune once i read it properly cover to cover so stay tuned.

oh and whuwuddathunkit dumbledore isnt as perfect as we thought. but then again, even the wisest man was once a young fool.

so. how excited are we that it is t minus 9 hours to the last installment of rowling’s worldwide phenomenon? i know i am very very very excited that i plan to drive down to the nearest walmart on my way home from clubbing tonight. hopefully by 2 am, the lines have shorten significantly.

and in spirit of all things potter, i went to see order of the phoenix today and may i just say, i am an idiot for not excited about this movie!!! i ABSOLUTELY LOVED it!!! maybe because i wasnt excited and went in there with no expectations whatsoever that this movie soared and took my breath away. before we go any further, i’ll have you know, i hated the book. harry got on my nerves and with the exceptions of fred and george leaving hogwarts, dumbledore escaping his capture with style and harry catching a glimpse of his teenage father AND godfather by means of snape’s memory, i loathe the book. the movie was ALOT more likeable.

BUT, i understood that the book was supposed to be like that, which is why as much as i hated it, i thought it was a crucial turning point for harry as he transcends into maturity. and that the movie, failed to show that angsty teenage adolescent years of harry and his friends, and in that aspect i was abit disappointed in the movie.

Having said that, i was excited to see another star power joining the potter cast: helena bonham carter as beatrix lestrange was quite exciting to see. i wonder if they’ll ever tap tim burton (carter’s husband) to direct one of the potter movies. seeing as there are only 2 left, that is unlikely but they did, it’d definitely be interesting.

anyways, the film left me back in love with rowling’s world of witchcraft and wizardry. the set, costumes and actors were all brilliant and i was cheering with joy and squeaking with excitement and got teary eyed when sirius was struck with the adava kedavra curse (or however you spell it), in my seat. i simply dont know what’s wrong with me that i didnt have the eagerness to watch it earlier. i must be going mad.

i am almost late for work so all in all, i loved it. four thumbs up from me. and may i just say, how hot is radcliffe? i mean, not the face. i never thought of him as handsome, but you can see his all buff and muscular now.

YAY! 9 more hours til i get my hands on the deathly hallows. im excited but at the same time a bit sad that the saga is ending. im sure i’m not the only one.

it didnt happen. if i dont acknowledge that it happened, then it didnt happen. as far as i’m concerned, it DID NOT happen. i mean, come on. i dont even remember what it felt like: was it hot, was it awkward, did he taste like ashtray, etc, how was it supposed to count? no, it doesnt count.

maybe it really, in fact, did NOT happen. it was all just a fragment of my highly overactive and horny imagination. it was just a wet dream, so to speak.

ugh. why oh why couldnt you keep your hands to yourself? i thought you said no complications. wtf. no strings attached, there is no such thing. i come with strings. that’s how i was designed. i wish i didnt come with strings either. but what can i do about it.

so now what? oh yeah, nothing. coz it didnt happen. it DID NOT.

see. this is me with strings. me without strings wont be freaking out like this. me without strings doesnt exist.

so, no. it did not happened. capisce?

"there comes a point in every fight when giving up seems the only way."

i’m giving up. for real this time. oh the humiliation. the pain. i didnt think it would be this hard. but serves me right. all the signs that i chose to ignore and trod on along based on mydelusional logic. wishful thinking is a very dangerous thing.

oh god. i hope hope hope hope hope that you dont see me the way i see him. just a little pitiful thing you put up with because you feel sorry for her. or you gave up shaking her off and just let her bug you every so often. oh god, no. please tell me thats not the case. shite.

i didnt think it would hurt like this. but i think its more the mortifying thoughts and a blow to my pride than it is a broken heart. it isalmost always about pride isnt it? i still cant believe what a fool ive made myself out of. but only fools fall in love. and id rather fall than to be frozen. its kinda nice to know i still can feel after all. i still can fall.

great. now  if you’ll excuse me, i need to find somewhere to fall apart.

- what the bloody fuck. first FOX pulled the plug on The Wedding Bells after merely 4 episodes. and now CBS canceled The Class? What is wrong with those people! See, this is WHY i should have NEVER started watching tv show until it is a HUGE hit and therefore is not in danger of being canceled. i’m still not watching LOST or Heroes, though. at least not until those series ended because for all i know, they might suck after season 5 or 6 and get canceled before they unravel all the mysteries. Same goes for Smallville.

- SIx Flags in texas can kiss my big bottom! seriously! so shabby and puny and just so damn ghetto in comparison!i NEED to go to windy city again just so i can go to the six flags there. i guess there is a reason why the one there is called GREAT AMERICA. who says everything is bigger in texas? the six flags sure isnt!

- 10 days of no work. do i really need to say it?! oh no, before any of you even dare THINK of how nice it must be to have that much time off and relax and not do anything, even IF it equates no money, let me just tell ya, it’s NOT nice, okay. not when you cant really do whatever you want with that time off because you have a friend visiting from out of town. which is why i took time off in the first place. i am a very bad host. and in being one, im making myself miserable in the process too.

- my friends have disappeared on me. yes, mr forever young is still there but not quite the same anymore. and minxy dude has been so busy i havent seen him online for the longest time and i havent really talked to him in quite a while. and soccer freak; dont even get me started. and my current crush, is MIA. wtbf.

- still havent gotten around to bringing lappie to his "doctor". am going to this afternoon, though. as a matter of fact, im going right after i finish ranting. the reason why i have finally had enough with not having my own computer is because i have a GAZZILLION pictures i want to put up here on friendster and the myriads online album i have. yes, kids, more narcisstic pictures coming your way. and some non narcisstic too. pics from windy city trip back in may, from when the kids were here, pics with said friend who is still here, six flags pics, and many others. oh and did i mention camwhoring pics? i did? oh yes, narcisst.
so yeah, bringing lappie in for diagnostic and i am cringing just thinking of how much it will cost to fix it. did i mention i missed A LOT of work? *sighs*

i think thats all the ranting i have for now.

in other news, im thinking of doing entries on each item on  my user profile. as in the stories behind them, sort of elaborate on each of them on how it came to be, or a funny story behind it, etc. what do you think? leave me a line if any of you think i should do it. i mean, if any of you are actually interested in knowing more about those random facts. or just interested in knowing more about me. i was joking. i dont really care if you want to read it or not. id still do it because i think it will be fun.

for me.

it’s been a while. how’ve you been? you seemed alright the last time i saw you.

you know, sometimes i look at you and think what would happen if i kiss you. what it would feel like; if it would tell me whether or not you feel the same way.

but then what if feels all wrong? what if you dont feel that wat about me? what if there is no chemistry and all that kiss did was ruin our friendship?

oh who am i kidding. we’re not just friends, are we?

i seriously dont get why or how you magically appears in my life every time someone asks or everytime i talk about you. be it a text message, a phone call, an email or even a mere photo comment. your appearance gradually takes on a less significant form every time so im guessing, or rather hoping (?), that in time it’ll eventually be nothing.

i dont mind. but i really dont know what to say to you back. i’m indifferent. yet, i still feel bad for not caring anymore, like i’m still bitter or something. i’m not. and i wish i can be a fake friend who says things like, "i’m happy for you." or "all the best!" or "you look good", etc. but i cant. if there is anything that i’m not, it’s that i’m not fake. you know that. i cant be a phony. i’m just not capable of that. i dont have the capacity. i like my friendships to be real, which is why i DONT have many friends and that’s how i like it. in the event that you’re in a major jam, like life and death type of major, and in dire need of my help, of course i’ll do my best to help. we ARE friends, after all. but until then (not that i’m saying that it will happen *knock on wood* but you know…) let’s not kid ourselves; we no longer share anything between us. what about the four years we had, you ask? when everything’s been said and done, all they come down to is that i never got you and you never understood me, either. i know nothing about you. you know nothing about me. let’s keep it that way, shall we?

and please, let’s keep the "all the best" wishes to a non-existence too, shall we? i’d greatly appreciate it if you could do that coz seriously, i swear i was gagging when i read that.

having said all that, ^__^ all the best! to you too.

and i quote.